Have you seen Brené Brown’s famous TED Talk, “The power of vulnerability”? It’s amazing and raw and in it she explains the research she has done on what she calls “whole-hearted people.” These are people who feel that they are worthy of love and belonging.
When people come to see me in my private practice, they are working through many different issues. Some are trying to improve their relationships at home. If you are working to improve your relationship with your spouse and children try practicing vulnerability.
You can practice vulnerability at home by trying some of these strategies:
Show affection first.
When you initiate affection, you are demonstrating that you consider yourself worthy of love. It’s a great way to demonstrate to your children and your partner or spouse that they too are worthy of love and attention.
Share when your feelings are hurt.
Open and compassionate communication with loved ones shows a deep level of trust. Start small to gain confidence that your emotions will be well-received. Build to a deeper level of transparency with your spouse.
Ask for help.
Asking for help is a very important behavior to model in front of children and is one of the hardest ways to show vulnerability. Know that you may not receive help the first time you ask and be willing to put yourself out there a few times before getting a positive result.
Explain what you want.
When you are self-aware enough to know what you want, share that want with your spouse and your children. It can be as simple as saying, “This Saturday I want the family to work together to weed the garden because I want to spend time together while improving our home.” Giving the motive behind what you want everyone to do will show that you trust them to work with you.
For our own physical and mental health, as well as the health of our loved ones, it is important to show vulnerability. Brené Brown writes, “We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to.”
If you are ready to function as you are meant to and need some guidance to get there, contact me to discuss strategies specific to your situation.