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We are all doing the best we can in the situation we find ourselves in. There are so many big decisions to make as schools shift to different models and workplaces make the changes necessary to keep us safe. If you feel like your life is out of control and you don’t know what to do next, focus on the small things that you have the most influence over.

As a running coach, I encourage my athletes to look at each race with a single goal in mind, to achieve their personal best. For a 5K, it could be to achieve your best time; for a half-marathon or marathon, that goal could be to achieve the longest distance without stopping to walk. As long as you are making progress, you can feel that hit of dopamine that comes when you reach a goal or finish a task.

If you aren’t into running, you can find other ways to set personal records. Encourage your kids to set goals for projects that are important to them. For example, if they are into video games, most systems have a way to save your highest score or furthest level and you can then try to beat that point in the game. More traditional goal setting would include things like number of books read in a month or year, or the fastest they can fold a load of laundry.

Your personal best is a good metric to track because it can give you an idea of where you are now and where you were a year ago. In business it is common to use the phrase, “Measure what you want to improve.” The same can be said of your personal life. If you want to lose weight or you want a better job, or any of these things that you can clearly envision yourself as having improved—that is the point that you want to start tracking.

If you are unhappy in your job, track for a week all of the things that frustrate you about the situation. Maybe you don’t like the tasks you are assigned or you would prefer that your boss treat you in a different way than you are being treated. Note the occasions in your workweek that elicit a strong reaction, good or bad. When you track these things for a week, or two weeks, or a month, you may start to notice patterns that you can work to shift.

Work with a mental health professional to help you achieve those things that you have been striving for and have not yet reached. We are ready to work with you on ways to cope with the stressors in your life and create a healthier, sustainable way of living.

To schedule an appointment to see me in private practice, please contact Jacksonville Center for Counseling at (904) 737-7242.

We could all use more energy to finish the things we want to do. When you are mentally and physically strong, you build up a reserve of energy and endurance that you can tap into when you need it. Spring is a popular time to increase mileage for runners who want to build endurance and you can use the good weather to improve your emotional health as well.

ENERGY. Running makes me feel free and full of energy, and most importantly, it clears my mind. If you have seen the movie Unfinished Business starring Vince Vaughn, there was a part in the movie where he was so stressed out, pressured and hopeless that he doesn’t know what to do. Even though he was exhausted and wearing a suit, he joined the marathon to clear his mind before a big decision. Spoiler alert, he chose the right decision and goes on to succeed.

We are constantly bombarded by stressors in our everyday lives. Sometimes these stressors pile up and our minds may have a hard time processing new information. This is where exercise or running can help develop the body not only physically, but also mentally. It is amazing that running, which requires energy, in turn gives energy to the mind and body.

ENDORPHINS. This feel-good chemical allows runners to push themselves to seemingly impossible limits. When pain or fatigue sets in our body gets help from its automatic natural pain-killer, “endogenous morphine.” Prehistoric men could not survive a life in the wild and may have not gotten very far running away without this endorphin. In addition to being an inhibitor of pain signals that allow us to push on through discomfort, it can also produce, in some cases, a feeling of euphoria. After a mile run, the mind becomes at ease and at peace with the scenery and the rhythm it gives to our body.

ENDURANCE. People think of running as a strenuous activity but it doesn’t have to be bad for your body. For beginners, you should do proper stretching and pace yourself as you build up endurance. There are lots of reasons why people choose to get up and jog early morning. You get to see the beautiful sunrise while flushing out the bad toxins and increases your stamina. We need endurance in almost everything we do every day. Whether we go to work, walk our dogs, go swimming or take your spouse on a date, we need endurance to sustain our daily activities. As long as you are cleared by your doctor, you can start building endurance today.

Energy, endorphins, and endurance are great ways to build in healthier habits in all aspects of your life. Start with running and see what other positive habits you can develop in the next weeks.

I know and train some amazing runners. Among my friends, I can count multiple elites and sponsored athletes. They are each different in training schedules, eating habits, and personality, but all have one trait in common—resilience.

Resilience is that underlying strength that reminds you to keep working toward a goal even when the goal appears to be getting further and further away. In a marathon, especially a qualifier, the pressure to perform at your best is extremely high. A DNF (Did Not Finish) is considered by some to be a black mark on a runner’s record. It is important to remember that one day does not represent your whole life’s experience and one race is not the end of your journey.

You can still learn something from the race, no matter how long you took or if you weren’t able to finish. The mentality it takes to be a good runner is the same mentality that will help you in your daily life. If you have an especially bad day, you can build resiliency through the following:

Talk to your friends. Right after a big disappointment is a bad time to isolate yourself. Try to avoid being alone if you are struggling. Your friends know how important the day was to you and they know what you did to prepare. Let them encourage you and even distract you from the initial disappointment.

Treat your body right. Don’t compound a bad day with worse decisions. Bingeing at any time is a bad idea, but bingeing after a big disappointment is dangerous. Take care of yourself and make the best decisions for the food and drink you consume.

Work on your form. The day didn’t go as planned and you probably know one or two places where you missed a step. Take some time to work on your form and improve your skills before you go for the big race again.

Consult with your coach. A running coach can help identify where you may have over-trained and areas where you could devote more time. A licensed mental health therapist can work with you to build healthier habits and help you reach your goals.

We all have days when things don’t go as planned. You can build resilience by waking up the next day and using a positive mindset to propel yourself forward. If you need a hand or someone to talk to, I am available. Please contact me at (904) 737-7242 to make an appointment.